Remembering First Event 2005

Back in the day, when I wrote for GIRL TALK Magazine, I spent a lot of time traveling to events and reporting on them—from First Event in Boston to a trade show in Los Angeles as part of the contingent representing the magazine.

Friends, as well as followers I didn’t know personally, would often write to me.  Susan and I used to email and chat from time to time, and she wrote this about First Event.

Tonight, as I spend some rare time at our computer, my wife is asleep or getting there. I recalled, as if I were going to bed, the Monday night after our snowstorm extended, “First Event 2005,” concluded. I am home. I’m in one of my nightgowns that my wife bought me for Christmas a couple of years ago.

My “sleep wig” is on. My stockings and heels are still on, and they’ll stay on when I slip under the covers. My imitation Tiffany necklace and bracelet are on. Since I have to use a bra to keep my breasts in place, it is still on. For decades I’ve always wondered why my wife always wore her panties underneath her nightgown or pajamas. Mine are on. I’d feel naked if they weren’t on. Do I know why? You’ve got to be kidding. I don’t have a clue. However, First Event was less than a month ago; it feels like a year ago, and I’m in the same mood as “Alvin and the Chipmunks” when they sang in July: “…Christmas, Christmas, don’t delay…” I’m ready for another beautiful First Event. That’s my Christmas.

The work and preparation that go into running a well-run program seem endless, but so worthwhile, as it wields its magical charm on those who attend and bask in the glow and aura of “Tiffany’s First Event.” There could never be enough “kudos” for the women and girls who donated their most precious gift to make this week “happen.” Their gift? Time. It is so precious, and I’m so grateful they did.

The first sense of wonderfulness (Is that a real word?) comes from the simple fact that my nail polish doesn’t have to be wiped off tomorrow morning. This is one girl who loves her morning bubble bath. When I see my OPI “Heart to Heart” toenails and my “Dutch Tulip” fingernails poking through those snow-white bubbles, I feel a serene sense of happiness. This is also one girl who looks upon shaving one’s legs as pure enjoyment. My wife thinks I’m nuts. “You haven’t had to shave them for the past fifty years,” she once pointed out.

That probably confirms an e-mail that I received from TransgenderTapestry’s Miqqi Alicia Gilbert. It was in reply to an e-mail of mine about the level of “comfort” that genetic women exhibit today when dressing. She wrote to me, “…there is a major difference in wearing heels and having to wear heels….” I guess that there is a difference in shaving one’s legs and having to shave one’s legs.

However, I digress. I was writing about the magical effect First Event has on the attendees. I wrote about my thoughts last year and the year before, too, and I don’t want to be redundant; however, some current readers of “Rosebuds” may not have seen last year’s notes.

My friend, Brianna Austin, wrote about the “magic” of First Event 2003 for the former Girl Talk® Magazine. The article is reprinted on our Tiffany Club’s website.

While the opportunity to dress every day is no “big deal” for the genetic female, the “pre-op” transsexual fulfilling the yearlong requirement, or the “post-op” woman, it is, however, a big deal for the crossdresser that I am. (I think I’m a crossdresser, but I’m never sure. I’m still seeking answers that may never come.) For me, it’s always been the clothes and the shoes. First Event lets me “dress” for seven days. It allows me to wear my skirt-suits during the day and my dresses at night. I brought enough shoes to stay for two or three weeks. That, in itself, is a warm magical event. Then there are all the events and programs during the day. There were programs and seminars for all of us under the term, “transgender.” In many cases, I would have liked to have been in two different places at the same time. I treated myself to three makeovers in three days. My hands are not as steady as they used to be. Too bad there isn’t a “lip and eye” express makeover station.

The evening events were excellent. Another great night at the Theater on Wednesday, a Prom Night on Thursday (and I left my yellow gown at home!), the Traditional Fashion show on Friday, and Saturday’s Dinner-dance, awards, and great keynote speaker were all components of this magical week. I even had the pleasure of having some breakfast with Ms. Vera, our speaker, on Monday morning. I used to live in “the city,” and our daughter was born in Brooklyn, and we both went to parochial schools too. She’s so charming. I was so warmed that she took time to talk with me.

A major part of my week is the Tiffany-sponsored “You’re Not Alone” meeting. This support group meets twice a month at the club, but in January, the “Third Thursday of the Month, falls on Friday. The first meeting of the month is on the third Thursday, and the second meeting of the month is on the first Thursday. Yes – the second meeting of the month actually occurs before the first meeting. Don’t try to figure it out. It’s a “T-thing.” It is “kinda” like Yogi saying, “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.” I was so happy and elated that Johanna Shipley, the facilitator for Y.N.A., received the “Miss Tiffany” award this year. For many years she has been a real, “un-sung,” hero for Tiffany. Several girls are still living today thanks to Johanna.

Last year, First Event 2004 found its way into LadyLike® Magazine with the article, “Where did you get that skirt?” Frances Cardullo took the photos that were used. I was looking for “that skirt” in this year’s fashion show, but she wasn’t there. Can I put my hands on that particular issue to cite the name and issue number? You’ve got to be kidding.

Last year, my friend, Alanna, had her S.R.S. the Tuesday after the First Event. I hoped she could join me this year, but her new work prevented it. Last year, she, Sarah, Barbara, and I all had “some of the bubbly,” as Bing Crosby would have put it, in my room before the banquet.

Last year, Barbara, who lives in Woburn, took me to Mass at her home parish. I placed the lovely roses that I received at Saturday’s banquet on the “Mary Altar.” My wife is allergic to most flowers, and I couldn’t take them home. This year, the snowstorm prevented me from leaving the hotel Sunday morning.

This was my third First Event where I could take part in all the days and nights. Last time, I could only attend the day session on Friday.

One thread runs through it all. It’s the people. So many parts of the transgender world embrace us. This week, everyone can bask and blossom in this world. We can also explore, seek guidance, and grow closer to our “True Selves.”

We met some girls that we haven’t seen since last year. We bask in the radiant happiness that beams from the enjoyment some of the girls are experiencing.

I got to see my “little sister” again. I met and talked with some new girls and reconnected with others.

This is the only time of the year that I get to see and talk with Christine Becker. We share a love for great coffee.

The only thing missing this year, for me, is the same thing that has been missing each year. In the evening, there should be a cocktail lounge without any television, and without any loud, pulsating “music.” There’s only one person I care to dance with, and she was in the hospital this year, and no one was playing any Glenn Miller music anyway. At weddings, most people haven’t seen each other since the last wedding or funeral. They only want to converse with each other without shouting. Being in a room with a cocktail bar and soft piano or guitar music in the background would be so nice and beautiful. We’d talk about what is new in our lives. We’d get asked questions and would ask others about clothes and make-up. We’d be able to talk about any funny things that happened to us while we were “dressed.”

I’m sure almost all, if not all, of us would love for this week never to end. However, the work-a-day world has to take over. You still have to pay the bills. Until late June, I’ll be working on Tuesdays. So who knows when I’ll get a chance to “dress” again outside the week of the Fancy Food Show. That’s ten days as Susan in Manhattan. My story of that week of 2003 appeared in the Investment’s January 2004 newsletter, and my saga of 2004 appears in Brianna Austin’s “True Stories” section of her website, although she did misspell my last name.

My manager wants to go shoe shopping with me! She loves the pictures and said the same phrase as Stacy at “Makeover Spa” in Easton: “You’ve got great legs!” It is so nice to have a boss who knows your “True Self” and is okay with it. Every so often, when I’m looking for something at work and she finds it a second after I just looked there, she winks her eye, smiles, and says, “Don’t worry. It’s a guy thing.”

These are just some of my thoughts from First Event. Many, many kudos to the girls who made it happen. These are the girls who provide the aura, charm, and magic.

As always, be happy, be safe, and always think pretty!